This song came one night when I was at an impasse with my beloved and felt my heart was breaking. The warring and conflict of the human heart between two people can feel like the world is caving in. In our wounding, we often take up the sword and have a hard time laying it down unless the other meets the demands of our ego before we let go and forgive. May these words be a balm for our road-weary hearts as we yearn to remember WHO we really are and that LOVE is the only answer to every trouble or trial. When we choose it, particularly when it is most difficult, it will make a way where we thought there was none. May we be the ones who will put down the sword and exchange it for the rose.
As a symbol of transformation, the butterfly has so many messages within its journey from caterpillar to spreading its wings and taking flight. When this song came to me I was deep in the process of learning to love and accept the parts of me that I held in shame and judgement most of my life. When I began to learn how to sit and hold those parts of me without running or hiding from myself,, a compassion welled up and a love story with my real, vulnerable self began to emerge and sprout new life that could only come with seeing and loving all my perfect imperfections. It's time to fly, butterfly!
"There was a time when I was reaching for you." I spent so much of my life feeling like I was such a disappointment to God. I often felt so disconnected from love and it seemed like much of my spiritual life was going through motions of trying to earn God's favor and hoping to feel the freedom of forgiveness. It really was when I was at a cross point in my life, having just lost both my parents and my marriage, that I was in such a divine free fall into grace, where Spirit began to show me there was nothing I could do to earn or lose love. That I am the Beloved and the Beloved is mine. This song tells the story of me discovering the sweetness of falling into the sweetest love story with God's presence within me and how it began to change my perspective and perception of myself and everything in my life.